Food Stories
by Kishiro Kitsune
Summary: A collection of oneshot that involve food in some way. Different pairings, some shonen ai, but all are just light and fluffy. chapter 1 SoRiKai, chapter 2 Zemyx, chapter 3 and 4 AkuRoku
1. Pie: RikuSoraKairi

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. It belongs to Square Enix and Disney.

Summary (for chapter 1): Sora has Kairi and Selphie over and the two girls give him pie. Riku freaks out and rushes over to stop Sora from doing something stupid. Fluffy _**RikuSoraKairi**_

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**Food Stories**

_Chapter 1: Pie_

Riku sighs as he loosens up his school tie and steps into his house. He slips off his shoes and drops his bag by the door before calling out, "I'm home!"

"I'm in the kitchen!" Riku's mom calls back to him. "You may want to check the answering machine! Sora's been calling for you!"

Riku raises an eyebrow. He just saw Sora fifteen minutes ago when they were leaving school. And Sora only calls a lot when something has happened. _'What did he do this time?' _Riku wonders as he walks into the living room. He sits down on the couch and then drapes himself across it before he presses the playback button on the answering machine.

"_Heeeeey Ri-Ri!" _(Riku suppresses a twitch.) _"It's Sora! Oh, and Kai's here too. Oh, and Selphie." _Sora giggles. Yes, _giggles_. _"You'll never believe--"_

There's a beep as the message ends and then the machine clicks and Sora's voice comes through the speaker again. _"Oops! Sorry about that. Riiiiiikkkuuuuuuu! I miss you! Come over and play! I've got," _Sora giggles for a second time. _"Pie!"_

There's a click and the sound of the dial tone before the answering machine resets itself so it's ready to take more messages.

Riku stares at the answering machine for a minute or two with a horrified expression on his face. Then he curses loudly and rolls off the couch, banging his leg into the coffee table on accident. He leaps to his feet and runs for the door. As he passes by the kitchen he yells to his mom that he'll be back in a little while.

Outside he grabs his skateboard from where it's leaning up against the wall and drops it on the ground before jumping on it and pushing off. He flies down the road, avoiding rocks and stick that are on the stone. He rolls straight through town without slowing down and nearly crashes headlong into a group of girls from school. He doesn't bother shouting out an apology since he's already too far away from them. Colors and shapes blur together as he rolls down the biggest hill on Destiny Island and then he veers sharply to the right, cutting off onto a path that leads straight to Sora's house. His speed doesn't decrease until he's right at Sora's house and when he's close enough he jumps off the skateboard and lets it slam into the side of the house. Riku quickly jumps over the porch steps and barges through the front door.

"WHO THE HELL GAVE HIM PIE!" He screams.

Selphie and Kairi stop in the middle of whatever it is that they're doing to stare in shock at Riku. Sora giggles insanely and then rolls off the couch, not paying any attention to the fact that Riku nearly broke down his front door.

"Riku!" Sora happily says, stumbling to his feet. "You're here, so now we can have fun!" He spins around in a circle and nearly falls backwards onto the floor.

Riku glares at the two girls, who are trying to sneak out of the room and not doing a very good job of it. "Which one of you was it?" He demands. "Which one of you was _insane _enough to give _Sora _pie?! You know what happens when you give it to him! You both saw him after the one time Lulu brought pie to school for Wakka and Wakka decided it would be a good idea to share it with all of us. And Sora didn't see fit to warn us that his mother has _banned _him from eating pie!"

"It's an awful lot like what happens when you get a hold of a mocha." Kairi deviously says.

Riku turns a different shade of red. "I told you not to mention that ever again, Kairi!" He hisses. "You promised?"

Kairi looks innocently up at Riku. "Oops?" She offers, hoping her puppy-eyes will be enough to make Riku forgive her for bringing up the mocha incident.

"Uh, guys?" Selphie speaks up in a worried tone. "I know you two are arguing and all, but Sora's gone."

"WHAT!?"

Selphie winces from the loud yells. "I'm sorry! I wasn't paying much attention to him because I was watching you two and then when I looked back at him he wasn't there. I'm so sorry." Her voice and expression hold all signs of her being truly sorry, so Kairi and Riku find themselves unable to be too angry with her.

Instead of staying to yell at Selphie the two bolt for the door to go hunt down Sora. They split up once they're outside and Riku goes to search the woods around the house while Kairi heads in the direction of the docks, wondering if Sora's heading off to the play island like he did last time.

The two search for over an hour and are joined by Selphie halfway through before the brunette girl has to go home for dinner. After searching everywhere they think Sora could be, Riku and Kairi meet back up on Sora's front porch and prepare to go inside and inform Sora's mom that they lost him. Before they can knock on the door it opens and Sora's mom smiles down at them.

"Hello, Riku. Hello, Kairi. Looking for Sora, I presume?" She asks. Before Riku or Kairi can say anything she steps aside and gestures for them to come in. "He's upstairs asleep if you want to go see him. Poor dear wiped himself out cleaning up his room and doing laundry."

Kairi and Riku exchange surprised looks and then dash past Sora's mom and head upstairs to Sora's room. Together they swing open Sora's door, which wasn't completely shut, and then stop in their tracks to stare at Sora, who is fast asleep on top of his covers.

Kairi covers her mouth and giggles a little before the giggles are replaced by a warm smile. Riku sighs, in relief and annoyance, and then crosses the room to Sora's bed.

"Riku, what are you doing?" Kairi asks. She watches with worried blue-violet eyes as Riku tries to gently tug the blankets out from under Sora so he can cover him up. She giggles softly when Sora rolls over and grabs Riku's wrist.

"Sora, let go." Riku whispers, trying to get back his captured wrist. He looks pleadingly at Kairi, who pretends like she doesn't know what he wants. Less than a minute later Kairi errupts into quiet giggles and then crosses the room.

Instead of trying to help Riku get his wrist free she crawls into bed with Sora and wraps her arms around him. She yawns and closes her eyes, trying to give Riku the silent hint to do the same. Just a few minutes later Riku gives up trying to escape from Sora's grasp and does the same as Kairi.

When Sora's mom goes up to check on them a half hour later she finds them asleep all cuddled up together. She resists the urge to squeal and scampers off to find her camera so she can takes lots of pictures and show Kairi and Riku's parents. Or maybe just their mother's.

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End

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Oh dear goddess, what have I done? I've sort-of, kind of started a new fanfic. (groans) The only good thing is that this one is just going to be a bunch of one-shots, all involving food in some way. Not all of them will be RikuSoraKairi ones, since there's this one ZexionDemyx one I want to write and I've got to do an AkuRoku one. Heck, this thing is just going to be a big mix of different pairings that I like. Fun!

I probably won't be updating this one very much. It's more of a spur-of-the-moment writing thing where I think of something that I can't drag out for a few chapters and toss in some food somewhere. Or like with this one, where I got the idea to make Sora go crazy off of pie and then just let it write itself out. Fun!

I have one more thing to say: I like pie. :P


	2. Bagels: DemyxZexion

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. It belongs to Square Enix and Disney.

BEHOLD! The cuteness that is Demyx! Oh, and Zexion too.

Warnings: Run-on sentences and slight shonen ai (Demyx/Zexion in this one)

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**Food Stories**

_Chapter 2: Bagels_

"Hiya, Zexion!" Demyx happily says as he plunks his tray of school food on the table right next to his blue-gray haired best friend. He slides his lanky body onto the bench with some difficulty, accidentally slamming his knees into the table. His smile momentarily fades into a grimace of pain and then returns full force once he's sitting down and looking at Zexion. "How's it going?"

Zexion resists the urge to sigh as he flips a page in his book. "I'm fine, Demyx. Must we go through this every day?"

Demyx pouts. "But Zexi!" (He ignores Zexion's mutter of, "Don't call me that.") "I haven't seen you _all day_!" He dramatically throws his arms over his best friend. "I MISSED YOU!!!!"

Zexion chooses to ignore the fact that everyone in the cafeteria is now openly staring at them and that many people are whispering. He readjusts his glasses and allows Demyx to hug him for the time being. "Demyx, you just saw we two class periods ago. We have first period together, remember?"

"So? That doesn't mean I can't miss my bestest friend in the whole entire world!" Demyx exclaims. "And two class periods is too long!" He snuggles into Zexion's shoulder and completely ignores his school lunch. "Hey Zexion, I didn't get to finish my story earlier, did I?"

"What story?" Zexion asks, not remembering Demyx telling him a single story earlier that morning. That in itself is unusually, since Demyx always has a story to tell in the mornings and Zexion always listens to him.

Demyx's eyes widen and he lifts his head from Zexion's shoulder. "I didn't tell you? No way!" He exclaims. "I'll tell it now. We've got twenty minutes to kill." He says as he wrinkles his nose and pushes the tray of cafeteria food away from him. "So just the other morning Sora and I decided we wanted bagels for breakfast, right? The problem is that there weren't any bagels. So then we went and hunted down Roxas and it turned out he ate the last bagel the morning before and he wanted bagels to. The only problem is that Roxas and Sora only have their learner's and none of them trust me to drive for some reason, so we went to find Cloud. But he was all locked up in his room and talking to someone and he yelled at us to go away and leave him alone because he was busy. So then Sora pouts and I pout and Roxas gets all annoyed and suggests we go see if Namine will take us since, you know, she actually has her license. So we go next door to find Namine and she and Kairi are over there talking about girl stuff and doing each other nails and hair and stuff, so me and Sora ran out the door screaming before they could drag us into it and Roxas stayed behind to talk to them and didn't leave for a half hour. Oh! That reminds me, I've got another story to tell about the last time we interfered with their 'Girls Only Day'." He uses finger quotations, which makes Zexion raise his eyebrows. "It was really scary. But anyway, me and Sora went back inside to search through the kitchen again just in case there were some bagels tucked back in a cupboard somewhere and sure enough, there's a whole bag sitting in the very back behind all of mom's icky health food. The only thing was that it was, like, three months expired and had this really weird green fuzzy mold growing on it."

By this time, Zexion is wishing that he hadn't asked what story Demyx was talking about. He's not sure how much more of Demyx's run-on sentences he can take.

"So I turned to Sora and I said, 'Hey, wouldn't it be funny to put it in the toaster and take it up to Cloud and see what happens when he eats it'. But Sora didn't think it'd be a very good idea and that Cloud would probably kill us if we interrupted him again so we decided to see what would happen if we fed it to Roxas's gold fish. That was really boring since nothing happened so then we decided we had to rescue Roxas from Naminé and Kairi so we went over there to drag him away only to find him sitting there eating bagels without us! So we went back home and got our moldy bagels and then went back over to Naminé's and threw the moldy bagels at Roxas. But then we got in trouble and mom grounded us because one of the bagels hit Kairi, which really isn't fair because she threw one of them at us first. We were just throwing them at Roxas because he ate bagels without us." He pouts and pokes the table with his pinky finger. "We never did get any bagels."

"If you'd like, I'll get you some." Zexion tells him, putting a bookmark in his book. He knows he'll get no more reading done during lunch.

"Really?" Demyx asks hopefully, looking up from the table. "You'd really go out and buy me bagels?"

"Of course." Zexion says.

The slate-gray haired male is completely unprepared for what happens next as Demyx throws his arms around him once again and practically jumps into his lap, sending them both tumbling onto the floor.

"I LOVE YOU, ZEXY!!!" He squeals, loud enough for the entire cafeteria to hear.

Mortified, Zexion tries to pry off the excitable blond while fighting away a blush. He soon gives up on prying Demyx off and glares at him, traces of a blush clearly noticeable on his face.

"Forget it, I'm not getting you any bagels." He mutters, annoyed.

Demyx looks up at him, his hair falling over his blue-green eyes as they grow watery with tears. "B-but you promised."

Zexion mentally curses the cuteness of his best friend. "Okay, okay, I'll get you bagels! Just don't cry!"

Demyx instantly brightens and nuzzles his face in Zexion's shirt. "Okay!" He chirps.

Meanwhile, Zexion entertains thoughts of bashing Sora in the head with a large text book for teaching Demyx the deadly art of puppy-eyes.

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End

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I'm considering making all of these little one-shots linked together in one world. There's still no plot to them, but I'm really liking the idea of Cloud, Demyx, Sora, and Roxas being brothers. And my excuse for them not being present in the first one is that they were off running around doing stuff. Like, Cloud was off being emo somewhere (joke); Demyx was bouncing around annoying Zexion ; and Roxas was probably being dragged off by Axel. 

You know what would be awesome? A comic of this one-shot. Maybe I should attempt to draw it out. It'd be super cute. Anyone else want to?


	3. Chocolate: AxelRoxas

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. It belongs to Square Enix and Disney.

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**Food Stories**

_Chapter 3: Chocolate_

Ah, Valentines Day. That one day of the year where the hallways at school get completely decked out in pink and red and everywhere you go you see couples hugging and kissing, ignoring the fact that they're at school and could get in trouble. It's the one day where everywhere you go you see little heart-shaped balloons or boxes of chocolate or little teddy bears holding heart shaped balloons and boxes of chocolate.

Roxas hates Valentines Day.

Period.

End of discussion.

Axel, on the other hand, loves Valentine's Day, because he gets the chance to drive people batty by singing corny and often childish songs and chuck random pieces of chocolate at passersby. And he can give _his _Roxas chocolate and have no one think anything of it. Especially not Demyx, who completely spazzes out this time of year and is easily three times worse than Axel.

"Eat the fucking chocolate!" Demyx screeches, chasing after some poor freshman kid, pelting chocolate at him.

Axel raises an eyebrow when he sees that the mullet-boy is wearing pink and red with little white hearts all over his shirt. But that's not the worst part. He's got gold wings glued onto the back of his shirt as well as a bow and quiver of Papier-Mâché arrows.

Axel shakes his head and continues to walk over to where the rest of his friends hang out in the morning, leaving it up to someone else to stop Demyx. He's surprised to see Zexion sitting calmly with the others, completely engrossed in his book. Usually he's the one out there keeping Demyx under control.

"Hey Zexion, shouldn't you be stopping Demyx right about now?" He asks, dropping his bag without a care on the hard ground.

Zexion simply turns a page in his book. "He has five more minutes." He says.

Unsure of what to make of that, Axel shrugs and looks around for Roxas. Not finding the short blond, but seeing that his twin is about three feet to his left talking to Kairi and Riku, he makes his way over to Sora to question him about Roxas's whereabouts.

"Axel, it's Valentine's Day." Sora says, as if that statement explains everything. He sighs when Axel raises an eyebrow. "And every single year since the time we were twelve you have found some way to embarrass him in front of the entire school."

"So?" Axel still doesn't see his point.

"He's hiding because he knows you'll embarrass him in front of the entire school, like usual, and he'd rather not deal with the humiliation." Riku mutters.

"What was that, Kagi?" Axel asks, narrowing his eyes at the silverette.

"No arguing!" Kairi butts in, stepping between Riku and Axel before the two can start fighting. "It's Valentine's Day, can't you two _not _argue for once? Jeez, just because Axel flirted with Sora that _one time-"_

"When was that?" Sora asks, looking confused. "I don't remember that."

"The first time you met Axel." Kairi reminds him. "It was before Axel met Roxas and found out Riku's a possessive idiot."

Riku opens his mouth to defend himself but says nothing and closes his mouth when Kairi turns around and glares at him. Defensively, he crosses his arms over his chest and looks away, muttering, "I am not."

As if to lighten the mood, Demyx runs by at that moment, chasing two other freshmen kids. "Eat the fucking chocolate, damn it!" He yells, throwing more heart-shaped confections.

Axel looks pointedly over at Zexion, who glances up over his book to watch Demyx and then looks back down and goes back to read.

"Zexion, would you go stop him already?" Axel snaps. "He's going to scar them for life and get suspended for cursing and throwing shit."

Zexion sighs and marks the page in his book before setting it down and getting up. He walks over to where he knows Demyx will run past. Sure enough, Demyx turns to run past him, chasing after another pair of freshmen.

"Demyx. That's enough." Zexion says.

Demyx stops in his tracks mid-throw and turns around and beams at Zexion. "Okay!"

Slightly creeped out by the two, Axel edges away from them and keeps an eye on them while he continues talking to Sora, Riku, and Kairi. "So you know where Roxy is, but you won't tell me. Do I have that right?"

"Yup." Sora says, nodding. "He even threatened to take away my chocolate, so there is no way I'm gonna tell you!"

"Personally, I'd be happy if Sora told." Riku says, casting a wary look at the short brunet. "Then I wouldn't have to deal with him when he gets a sugar rush in fourth period. Or over at my house."

"Your house?" Kairi questions, surprised. "Now wait a minute, I thought we were going to all three hang out today!"

Riku raises an eyebrow. "What gave you that idea? We never made any plans to do anything. And Sora's coming over to play this new video game I got the other day. It's two-player and I don't want to show anyone else yet." (1)

Axel raises an eyebrow when Sora turns a little pink and avoids looking at Riku. He shrugs it off, not wanting to get involved. "I'll be going now." He says, not surprised when none of them hear him. Kairi and Riku are too busy bickering and Sora is steadily turning more and more pink and keeps glancing over at Riku.

He shoves his hands into his pockets and walks over to Zexion and Demyx, who are… exchanging gifts? Axel's eyebrow is raised even higher when he sees the two supposedly straight guys exchanging presents with each other. "What the hell?" He asks bluntly.

Demyx turns his head and grins at Axel. "Hi Axel! I got a present for you too!" He turns to rummage through his book bag and produces a bright, sparkly red bag with pink hearts and white and pink polka-dotted tissue paper. "Here ya go!" The blond says, happily plunking the bag in Axel's hands.

Axel opens the bag to see the usual chocolate candies and suckers that Demyx always gives out to his friends, but this year there's something else added in. He reaches in to touch the innocent looking square package and then quickly withdraws his hand when he realizes what it is. His face blazes red, but doesn't come anywhere close to the color of his hair. "Demyx," He hisses, moving closer to the giddy blond. "What the hell?!"

Demyx just grins and steps closer to Zexion, as if the slate-gray haired male will protect him if and when Axel snaps and tries to kill him.

"You never know, it might come in handy sometime soon." The blond says.

Axel, looking about like he wants to murder Demyx, growls and then stomps away. He's no longer in the mood to deal with Demyx.

Demyx pouts as he watches Axel leave. "That didn't go nearly as well as I expected."

"I suppose now's a bad time to give you your present." Zexion murmurs, moving to put the plain white box he's holding back into his bag.

"No!" Demyx whirls around and looks pleadingly at Zexion. "You got me a present? Really? Can I see? Pretty please?" He begs.

Chuckling, Zexion hands over the box and watches as Demyx tears into the box and paper to pull out a strange heart-shaped treat. Demyx squeals loudly and then practically leaps on Zexion to hug him. "You got me a bagel! You remembered! And it's shaped like a heart too!" And then he plants a kiss on Zexion's cheek, making the older male turn pink in the face.

Meanwhile, Axel is stomping through the halls with a scowl on his face. Everywhere he goes he sees couples kissing and exchanging gifts. He smirks whenever he sees one of them get broken apart by a teacher. By the time he gets to his homeroom, he's still in a bad mood but he's no longer stomping around in misery.

He spends the rest of the day barely paying attention in class while he tries to think of the best Valentines Day present to get for Roxas. This year the day has snuck up on him and he has nothing planned for the day.

Roxas doesn't know this. He spends the entire day glancing over his shoulder, constantly on the look-out for the redhead. He avoids eating lunch with everyone, figuring that would be the best chance Axel would get to embarrass him in front of the whole school. He spends lunch with Naminé instead and helps her clean up the art room.

By the time the bell rings at the end of school, he's a nervous, twitchy mess and wants nothing more than to go home and sleep so the day will be over with. Unfortunately for him, Demyx gets a hold of him first and convinces him to hang out with him, Zexion, Kairi, and Naminé for a while and go do a little shopping.

"So, where's Axel at?" Roxas asks as the walk out of the school's gates.

Demyx shrugs. "Dunno. I asked him if he wanted to come, but he said he has other plans. You probably made him all upset, hiding from him all day like you did."

Roxas looks away. "I hate this holiday. He knows that."

"Lets go there." Naminé suddenly says, pointing to a store called "Crystal Cottage".

"Is that a good idea? It looks like there's a lot of breakable stuff in there." Kairi says. "And Demyx, well, he's clumsy. No offense, Dem."

Demyx shrugs, un-offended by her comment. "I'll stay out here. Let me know if you find anything I might like."

In the end, only Naminé, Kairi, and Roxas go into the store to look around. Naminé disappears to the back to look at crystals, leaving Kairi and Roxas to talk and wander around the store looking at all the unique things for sale.

"Bad day, Roxas?" Kairi asks, noticing the distracted look on Roxas's face as he examines an Egyptian statuette of a cat.

"Huh?" Roxas turns his head to look at her, a confused expression on his face. "Sorry, Kai. My head's somewhere else."

Kairi gives him a sympathetic smile. "That's okay. I'm guessing it's been a bad day for you, avoiding Axel all day like you did."

Roxas grimaces. "Yeah." He agrees. "All I really want to do right now is go home and sleep the rest of the day away."

"You know, Axel wasn't very happy about you hiding from him." Kairi comments. "And Sora was getting worried about you when you didn't show up for lunch. If it weren't for Naminé texting me to tell me you were with her, he would have dragged me and Riku off to hunt you down."

"I know."

"Do you?"

Roxas doesn't answer and instead shoves his hands in his pockets. "I'm going home, Kai. Tell Naminé I'll see her tomorrow." He doesn't give Kairi a chance to reply as he hurries out of the store and pauses to tell Zexion and Demyx "bye" before he starts walking home.

Kairi frowns and pulls out her phone, walking over toward the door to talk without disturbing the few shoppers in the store. She quickly punches two buttons and then lifts the phone to her ear and waits. She taps her foot after the first few rings and is about to hang up when the person she's calling finally answers. "Pick up you phone faster, idiot." She tells the person on the other side. "Listen, Roxas is on his way home. He just left." She pauses a moment to listen. "No, Sora made him walk today. And we made it to the first shop before he left. I'd give him twenty or so minutes to get home if he doesn't stop at the skate store, which I don't think he will." She pauses again. "Alright, see you tomorrow. Good luck." She snaps the phone shut with a satisfied smile and slips it into the pocket of her plaid skirt.

* * *

_Home. _

Breathing a sigh of relief, Roxas unlocks the front door and steps inside. He doesn't find it odd that he's the only one home, since Cloud has to work and has already said he'll be going over to Squall's and he heard Sora mention that morning that he'd be hanging out with Riku. And of course, Demyx is still shopping with Zexion and the girls. As for their parents, Roxas assumes that their dad is off on some business trip and that his mom is working double shift again.

He slips off his shoes and drops his book bag at the door, thankful that he doesn't have any homework. He wanders down the hall and walks into the kitchen, where he gets a quick snack and a drink of water. Yawning, he leaves the kitchen and crosses the hallway to go over to the living room where the stairs are. He takes them slowly for once, where usually he takes the stairs two or three at a time. It's a game he and Sora always play.

Down the hall and into his room he goes, not paying much attention to anything. He's getting ready to fall into his bed when he finally notices that something is wrong.

He blinks once.

And then twice.

Then he bends down and picks up one of the rose petals that have been scattered across his bed. That's when his eyes fall on the box of chocolates and the card. He picks them both up as he sits down on his bed. He looks at the box and smiles when he sees its his favorite brand of mint chocolates and then he sets it aside to open the card.

Written on the card is three words:

_Open your closet._

Roxas raises his royal blue eyes to the closet across the room. Heart hammering in his chest, he gets up and sets the chocolates and the card back on his bed. And then he walks slowly across the room. When he gets to the closet door, he rests his hand on the doorknob for a moment before he opens it. Before he knows it, he's wrapped up in a hug and the scent of burning pine fills his nose. He looks up to see emerald green eyes looking back.

Axel smiles and leans down, placing a light kiss on Roxas's forehead. "Happy Valentine's Day, Roxas."

* * *

End

* * *

FINALLY DONE!!! (dances) It took me nearly a week, but I finally finished it! Yay! Okay, now there's one thing I have to comment on. I put a number (1) after it back up at the beginning. It's where Riku says:

"What gave you that idea? We never made any plans to do anything. And Sora's coming over to play this new video game I got the other day. It's two-player and I don't want to show anyone else yet."

Now, if you're like me and can manage to take that wrong, then you get _ultra _bonus cool points! If you don't see at all how I can take what Riku says wrong, then allow me to explain.

So, I was typing it up and I really did mean for it to just be Riku and Sora getting together to play video games. And then I went back and reread it. And that's when I thought, 'Hey, you know, when he says it like that...' The key words that I picked up on were two-player and that he doesn't want to show anyone. He doesn't even _want _anyone but him and Sora over at his house.

Sorry, that's how my fangirl mind works. And I can completely blame my friends, because they're all a bunch of perverts who can take anything anyone says in a completely wrong manner. It rubs off on you eventually, unfortunately.


	4. Poptarts: AxelRoxas

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Square Enix and Disney do.

* * *

**Food Stories**

_Chapter 4: Poptarts_

Early on a Monday morning, Roxas finds himself walking over to the usual spot he and his friends hang out at in the morning. Zexion and Demyx are already there, being sickeningly sweet as they cuddle up together. Albeit, it is more like Demyx hugging Zexion and refusing to let go while the slate-gray haired male tries to read his book.

'Best friends, my ass.' Roxas thinks, setting down his bag. He looks over on the other side of the boxed in tree and sees that the majority of the gang is over there listening to Selphie, who is telling a story.

'Where is he?' Roxas wonders, not seeing the one person he really has to watch out for. A shiver runs down his spine as all of his senses go on high alert. He turns slowly, scanning for the familiar flash of bright red hair.

"GOTCHA!"

Roxas stumbles forward when something, or rather someone, collides with his back and wraps arms loosely around his neck. Roxas growls in annoyance when said person begins nuzzling his neck.

"Axel." Roxas deadpans.

"Good morning, Roxy!" The redhead cheerfully greets. "Have I said how much I love you this morning?"

"Please don't."

Axel chuckles and kisses Roxas's neck, smirking when he feels the blonde's pulse flutter beneath his lips. "Love you, Roxas." He whispers.

Their moment is soon ruined by Tidus as he jumps up and points into the air. "Ha ha! Look at the dumb ol' birds!"

Everyone looks up and then looks over at Tidus, who continues to watch the seagulls fly around the school while he eats his poptart. A devious gleam enters his eyes as he breaks off a piece of it. Selphie recognizes the look in his eyes and puts her hands on her hips.

"Tidus Morgan! Don't you _dare _feed those birds!" She shrieks.

Tidus smirks and tosses the piece into the air. "Heads up!" He yells as he ducks for cover.

The entire group scatters as the seagulls swoop down onto the food. Kairi and Selphie are heard screaming as they fun for Tidus to tell him off fir calling down the seagulls. It doesn't turn out quite the way they hope, since when Kairi hits him it sends half of his poptart flying right toward Axel, Roxas, Demyx, and Zexion.

Axel screams loudly and in a high-pitched tone when the seagulls swoop down on them. Then he leaps into Roxas's arms, still screaming. By then Zexion has pulled Demyx over several feet to the side, so they don't have to worry about the birds.

"Axel." Roxas growls, more annoyed by the clingy redhead than by the birds. "Get off."

Axel continues screaming, so Roxas drops him on the ground and crosses his arms over his chest. Miraculously, Axel lands on the poptart piece and the birds fly away.

"They're gone now, Axel." Roxas calmly informs him. "You can get up now."

Axel lifts his head up and looks around, as if afraid that a bird will attack at any moment. When he sees that they're off harassing a different group of students, he grins and gets to his feet.

"Duuude!" Xigbar swings upside down in front of Axel, hanging from a branch of the tree by his legs. "You totally scream like a girl."

"I do not!" Axel snaps defensively. "My scream is very, uhh, manly! Right, Roxas?"

Roxas wastes no time in telling Axel that no, he does not have a very manly scream. Axel pouts and looks to Demyx for help.

"Sorry, Axel. You really do sound like a girl." The blonde says with a shrug. He sounds more amused than sorry.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?!" Axel yells. "You're my friend!"

Demyx grins sheepishly. "I always thought it was funny."

"You--!" Axel growls and then chases after Demyx, yelling about how friends tell friends when they scream in a feminine manner. As he takes off, he bumps into Xigbar, who falls out of the tree yelling, "Dude!"

Roxas sighs and walks over by Zexion. "Remind me why we love them."

A hint of a smile can be seen on Zexion's face while he watches Demyx run away from Axel. "Because they're them."

Roxas looks confused for a moment but then watches the two and smiles as well. "Yeah." He softly agrees.

The moment is ruined when a seagull lands on Axel and begins pecking at the poptart that is stuck to his shirt. The redhead quickly abandons his chase in favor of running around in circles, waving his hands, and screaming bloody murder.

Roxas sighs. "I'm going to, uh, yeah." He doesn't give more of an explanation as he jogs over to save Axel from the evil seagull. Off to the side, Demyx looks like he's about to fall on the ground from laughing so hard.

"Dudes, look at the birds!" Xigbar says, lazily waving an arm at the sky. "I wish I could fly like a bird."

Zexion chooses that moment to go back to his reading and ignore Xigbar as the pony tailed man begins to sing. Thankfully, the singing doesn't last too long.

"Dude! The bird just pooped on me! That's not cool, man! Not cool!" Before anyone can stop him, he pulls out a B.B. gun and shoots one of the birds. The B.B. hits it right in the eye and it falls to the ground, squawking and carrying on. A teacher makes her way over and everyone but Xigbar, who is eyeing the rest of the birds predatorily, high-tails it out of there so they don't get in trouble.

"Mr. Xigbar, did you shoot that bird?" The teacher demands.

"Sure did." Xigbar proudly says, still looking at the other birds.

The teacher sighs heavily, feeling a headache coming. "Mr. Xigbar, you realize that shooting the birds, especially on school property, is _illegal_."

"It is?" Xigbar asks, looking over at the teacher.

"Yes, and--" She stops and frowns. "Didn't you graduate _five years ago_? What on earth are you doing here?"

Xigbar thinks for a minute and then shrugs. "I don't know."

"Leave!" The teacher says, annoyed. She points in a direction away from the school. "Just go now and this… unfortunate accident will never be spoken of again."

"Cool." Xigbar says, hiding away his B.B. gun. "Later, dude!"

"I don't get paid nearly enough." The teacher mumbles.

* * *

Later that day, Axel and Demyx track down Tidus and tape pop tarts to him and then send him out into the flock of seagulls. They then enjoy the spectacle that is Tidus running around screaming while the seagulls chase him, some landing on him. Axel even takes pictures.

"Think that's a little overkill?" Demyx asks.

"Nope." Axel says with a grin. "He deserves it."

* * *

End chapter

* * *

This was inspired by a real-life event that happened on Monday. Somebody had brought a poptart and broke a piece off and threw it on the ground and, like magic, a whole flock of seagulls appears and attacks it. So me and darling Seto-chan scream and I practically jump on top of her and we huddle under my jacket. For me it was more for fun, since I'm not really afraid of the birds. And then she said, "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Axel and Roxas screamed like girls?" and then it evolved more when I said, "Yeah, and then Axel jumps into Roxas's arms and Roxas says 'Get off' and then drops him on the ground."

So this is for darling Seto-chan, who has been in the mood to challenge me to write one-shots lately even though I have so much to do!


	5. Coffee and Chocolate: AxelRoxas

Disclaimer: Still don't own Kingdom Hearts. It belongs to Disney and Square Enix.

* * *

**Food Stories**

_Chapter 5: Coffee and chocolate_

It is just another average day at school. There are kids running all over the place causing trouble and throwing their trash everywhere. The seagulls are swooping happily above them, waiting for food to be dropped on the ground so they can dive down and retrieve it. And Axel is standing in the usual spot waiting for Roxas to show up.

It is around that time that Roxas shows up that the average day changes into a very bizarre one.

"AXEL!!"

The redhead in question turns around just in time to catch Roxas as he appears out of nowhere and glomps him, snuggling up against his chest. Axel looks down at him in bewilderment, wondering what is wrong with him. Sora and Riku soon arrive, hand-in-hand, and Axel decides to ask them.

"Roxas is experiencing some technical difficulties right now." Sora says with a smile. "Please try again later or leave a message after the beep. Beeeeep!"

"You didn't get him drunk, did you?" Axel asks worryingly when Roxas begins rubbing his cheek against his shirt affectionately.

Riku rolls his eyes. "No. _**Sora **_put extra sugar and chocolate in Roxas's coffee this morning and he's been like this ever since. He'll be back to normal in a little while."

Axel looks down at Roxas, who continues to hug him and rub his cheek against his shirt, and then back up at Sora and Riku. "But- but I like him like this! He's actually hugging me! He's hugging me with _feeling_!"

Riku and Sora stare at him for a moment and then back away slowly, wondering about Axel's remaining sanity.

"Axel, you've finally lost it." Riku tells him.

"What are you talking about? Axel never _had _it." Kairi remarks, walking over to them. She notices Roxas and raises an eyebrow. "Why is Roxas hugging you?"

Axel shrugs. "I don't care right now. He's willing to hug me and I like it!"

Kairi rolls her eyes. "Of course you do. So, which one of you gave him chocolate?"

"Sora." Axel and Riku say in unison, while Sora raises his hand.

Kairi sighs and then taps Roxas on the shoulder. "Hey, Roxas, I've got a piece of chocolate for you."

Roxas detaches himself from Axel and clings to Kairi instead and the auburn-haired girl leads him away before he can further embarrass himself. Sora and Riku quickly follow, leaving Axel all alone.

**A while later** - Lunch

Axel spots Roxas walking across the lunchroom to his usual table and ambushes him halfway. He slides in front of him with a grin and Roxas stops walking and glares at him.

"Move." The short blonde growled.

"Aww, come on, Roxas. How about a hug? A hug with feeling!" Axel spreads his arms wide, expecting it to be like that morning when Roxas glomped him. Instead, the glare intensifies and then Axel's face meets Roxas's tray of cafeteria food.

"Shut. Up." Roxas seethes before stomping off to his friends.

Axel stares down at the tray for a moment and flicks a tomato off his cheek. Then he looks over at Demyx, who looks to be on the verge of laughing.

"You think that means 'I love you' in Roxas-speak?" Axel asks him.

Demyx's only response is to start laughing until his sides ache and tears spring to his eyes. Then he falls onto the floor, continuing to laugh and attract more stares than usual.

* * *

**A while later** - Before Last Period

Axel spots Roxas walking down the hall to his next class and hesitates a moment, the memory of what happened at lunch fresh in his mind. Then he gathers up his courage and walks over to Roxas with a big smile on his face.

"Hey, little buddy! How you feeling?" He asks.

Roxas glares at him and keeps walking. "Shut up, Axel."

"Geez, someone's all PMS-y today." Axel remarks, wondering what he did to invoke Roxas's temper. It can't have been the lunch-room thing, since he was angry then!

"I am not!" Roxas yells before stomping off for the second time that day.

Axel watches him go with a 'what-the-fuck?' expression on his face.

Selphie bounces up and watches Roxas storm off before looking up at Axel. "Hey, what's wrong with Roxas?"

"He's a woman." Axel mutters, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Selphie gasps in discovery. "I knew it!"

Axel gives her an odd look and then leaves to go to class.

* * *

"Didn't anyone tell you?" Naminé asks, swinging her legs from her perch up on the school wall.

Axel leans against the wall and looks up at her, waiting for her to continue.

"Roxas has a reaction to chocolate like Sora has to pie, except instead of falling asleep for twelve hours after, Roxas experiences more hangover-like symptoms." Naminé explains. "Sora has promised to not put chocolate in his coffee anymore."

"Oh…" Axel sounds a little disappointed and then perks back up when he thinks of something. "Hey, how long does his high usually last?"

Naminé giggles and then jumps down from the wall. Her pale blue sandals clack against the cement as she lands. "Three or four hours. But I wouldn't try it again. Roxas will be watching everyone carefully for a while, especially you and Sora."

Axel snaps his fingers in disappointment. Together the two begin the walk home to their neighborhood.

"So, what's with Selphie telling everyone that Roxas is a girl?" Naminé asks.

Axel chuckles and explains what happened earlier that day as they continue walking home.

* * *

End chapter

* * *

See, this is what happens when you get me and my friend Seto-chan on the phone and we start RPing. I don't even remember how this whole thing came about, although I know we were talking about how weird it would be if Roxas were to randomly glomp Axel. Now the two of us randomly shout, "How about a hug? A hug with FEELING?!" and hug each other. It's fun. Still not sure how I came to be Axel when I'm only around 5'2" and Seto-chan's taller than me and is Roxas.

Hmm... I need to do a cute LeonCloud chapter for this thing. I meant to, it's just that they're about as hard to write as Zexion is sometimes.


End file.
